Operation Blue Unicorn
by pandaunicornxing
Summary: Seth's imprint is leaving, and he's starting to go insane. Just a weird little thing that I wrote when I was bored...R&R, please! Rated T for language. Meant to be stupid and a little funny, but there's some serious mixed in there!
1. Chap UNO

**A/N: Do NOT ask me what this is, okay? Because I don't know. My mind goes insane sometimes. I should be studying, but I really don't want to. And, you know, there's the fact that I FORGOT MY FREAKING BOOK. **

**And just to let you know, Delilah is gone. So now it's all Zoey doing her writing.  
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**Anyways...**

**Disclaimer: Me. Don't. Own. I just like to play with characters. :)**

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Seth POV

I swear that someday I am going to kill the person who decided that it would be a funny joke to have me imprint on a visitor. A visitor that is Jake's cousin. A visitor that is seventeen years old, just like me, but practically _engaged_.

There is something wrong with America.

And there is also something wrong with the universe, if they want me to imprint on a girl who will be gone in one week.

To get frickin _married._ I mean, what_ is_ that?

Her parents are obsessed with this one guy, and even though she supposedly doesn't like him, her parents are forcing her to marry him.

And not only is she getting married, and leaving, she also hates me. She thinks I'm a stalker.

And she also thinks that I belong in a mental home, since Paul started talking about how I sometimes hear Irish voices in my head. That was ONE time, and it was only because we were watching a retarded movie in History that had too many big words for me to understand, and I was extremely bored. And then I started saying stuff to myself in my head, (Don't act like that makes me crazy, you all do it too!) and for some reason it started turning into an Irish voice, saying stuff about red hair and...

Oh, how ironic that my imprint has red hair. And this was BEFORE she came along.

Oh, universe. How I hate you.

"The universe hates you, too, Seth."

Oh. I spoke out loud?

Paul chuckled. "Yes, Seth, you did."

Well, fuck.

"Language, young Sethikins."

...Sethikins?

"Yes. That's what I'm officially calling you."

I _really_ need to stop talking out loud. No one needs to hear my pathetic thoughts.

"No, we don't, Seth. So maybe we should tape your mouth shut."

And maybe we should tape your 'private squares' shut! See how fun you are then!

He stared at me blankly for a few seconds, and it was then that I realized that the one time I _want_ to speak out loud, I don't.

Maybe I'm retarded.

"Yes. You are."

"You know what? Just...just go away, Paul."

He smirked. "Gladly." Then he got up and walked out, shouting over his shoulder, "Have fun with Jake today! I hear he and Carly are going to Seattle tonight! And they're inviting you."

He laughed while I groaned.

Well, Jake might be inviting me. Carly wouldn't be. As I stated earlier, she thinks I'm a stalker.

But what are you supposed to do when you imprint? She's your perfect other half.

Although when Edward met her, he thought she and I would never work. (Though he never said anything like that, it was pretty obvious.) She's sarcastic and annoying and cynical and cryptic...

And I'm Seth. I have 'the purest mind' according to Edward. I'm not what you'd call shy, but I don't purposely pick out arguments, and I try to stop them if I can. I say what's on my mind, (usually, just as long as it won't get me ripped to pieces) and although I'm a werewolf/shapeshifter/morph into a giant ball of fur, I don't willingly go into danger unless it has to do with bloodsuckers. (Yes, I call them that. Just not the Cullens. Except Rosalie. I call her a bloodsucker sometimes. Especially when she looks like she's going to eat me just to get my smell out of the house.)

But at this point, it doesn't matter, because from what Sam's told me, if Carly really does leave and go back to London, then I'll end up following her soon after.

And then I'll _really_ be a stalker.

And what am I going to do if my imprint puts a restraining order on me?

Probably go insane.

Damn imprinting.

Damn these stupid wolf genes that make me imprint.

And damn Carly.

Well...Okay, no, I take that back. I can't really say anything bad about her...

Which just pisses me off more. It's like I get no choice. Jake tried to describe imprinting as a shortcut to love, that you'd end up with that person even without imprinting, but imprinting made it easier, stronger.

Well, I disagree, Jacob. Would you be with Renesmee if you hadn't imprinted? I think not. (Although that's probably because the pack would have tried to kill her by now.)

As for the other part, stronger, sure. Easier? No way. You're tied to the girl forever. If she doesn't live, you most likely won't. And if she's not there, you're in pain. You're tied to her from the first time she looks at you. How is that easier? If there was no imprinting, then I'd be able to let Carly merrily go on her way.

But thanks to these stupid wolf genes, I'm stuck being miserable for the rest of my life.

"You know, Seth, sometimes I wonder if your brain works right."

Oh. Joy. Paul was back. Does he ever go away?

He laughed and even though I wasn't looking at him, I knew he was smirking. I also knew that he was probably right about the whole mind not working thing, considering that I always seem to talk without knowing it. Pretty soon, I'll probably end up spewing crap about blue unicorns and sea foam porcupines.

I have a feeling if that happens, Sam will throw me into that pretty white room himself.

"I mean, you've still got a week until she leaves. And the imprint is strong, Seth, you both feel it. So instead of sitting around here moping, why don't you go and try and show her that you're not a stalker? She should start to feel something after a few days. You can try and see if there's a way she can stay..."

I went stiff as a board, (hehe, that's a weird expression) and considered what he was saying.

It actually wasn't a bad idea. I could try and convince her to stay...

She would feel the imprint. If I was nice to her, if I was myself, then she would know she felt something for me. But would that be enough to make her stay?

It was worth a shot.

After all, I wouldn't want any of those scary blue unicorns to come and get me. Or the sea foam porcupines. Those things are terrifying.

Even worse are the yellow turtles. See any of those, and you should run far_ far_ away.

So I shall call it...Operation Blue Unicorn.

**Yeah, so...Totally pointless. But I was bored.**

**And the Irish voices thing and the weirdly colored animal references (blue unicorn, yellow turtle, etc.) are all from Seattlelover7. And yes, she knows. She's an amazing writer, and you should SO go check out her stories.**

**Not sure if I'm going to continue this. I planned on it being a one-shot, but then I ended it that way...**

**Anyways, review please! And if you don't, then go check out the Seattlelover7 stories. She deserves way more reviews than she gets.**

**~Zoey~  
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	2. Chapter Deux

**A/N: Yeah, so...I guess I randomly decided to continue this. School's over now, so I'll mainly only be writing this at, like, three in the morning.**

**And to all of you anonymous reviewers out there...What, are you too afraid to give me a mean review on your real account? Because that's what it seems like. And to all of you anonymous reviewers who felt the need to swear, have some class. will you? If you don't like my story, fine. You can tell me how much you hate it. You can say it's retarded. But you don't need to say 'this story is fucking shit.' What's the point in that? I don't even care if you're mean to me. But you don't need to be like that. That's what we call pathetic.**

**Disclaimer: You know, really, all that belongs to Stephanie Meyer is Seth. And a few of the other characters that I only mention in passing. But, I don't own those things. So...Yeah.  
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**Seth POV**

I think the whole pack is ready to officially declare me insane and ship me off to the funny farm. And the sad thing is, I'm not even kidding.

But see, none of them have ever been in my situation. Sure, Sam's imprint was a little difficult at first, but everyone knew it would turn out fine. Jake's imprint, although a little weird, didn't have that many problems. (Well, except for that little Volturi incident, but Jake knew that Bella had some weird plan going on that would involve him taking her, so he was fine.) And Quil, well...Not too much drama with Quil. I mean, maybe she's young, but no one really minds that much. And Kim and Jared...NOTHING happened. Unrequited love, then BAM and suddenly everything's perfect.

My imprint on the other hand hates me and thinks I'm a freaky stalker, and she doesn't even know what I am.

And, you know, there's the little fact that she'll be leaving in, like, two weeks.

Yeah. That's a problem.

And I wasn't really sure how to put Operation Blue Unicorn into effect. Carly never even seemed to want to get within twenty feet of me.

And they said that imprinting was easy.

Well, they're liars. LIARS! And liars lie. And lying isn't cool.

I mean, I know that Operation Blue Unicorn (Why did I ever even decide to call it that?) was supposed to be about becoming friends, convincing her to stay. But if I couldn't get anywhere near her, then how was I supposed to do anything?

And Jake wasn't exactly helping matters. It seemed like he was feeding Carly's fear of me or something. How would I know if he was secretly telling her that I would come in the middle of the night with a sledgehammer wearing a turtle mask? (Hockey mask is too overused. Friday the 13th and all that.) I mean, it's not like I had any proof or anything, but he hadn't exactly been excited when I'd imprinted on her.

Of course, Paul could be very useful. (And I just realized that that sounded kind of perverted..._So_ not the way I meant it.) He had told me that he found out from Jake that Carly would be completely alone today from two o'clock to eight. It was now three o'clock, and I was making my way over to Emily's house, since apparently that's where she was, even though Emily wasn't home. (Her and Sam had gone to some resort in California for their anniversary...Life without an Alpha can be pretty amusing. Especially when the Beta is otherwise occupied with his cousin and his own rapidly growing imprint. (She now looked seventeen. And hehe. parenthesis inside parenthesis.) And I guess I might have forgotten to say that we were all morphed into one pack again, because many of the younger kids decided to stop phasing. All those unimportant ones that no one really ever heard of. Except Collin and Brady. Unfortunately, those two little fuzz balls were still here.)

I feel like such a stalker, getting Paul to look into Jake's head so I can get my imprint alone. I mean, it's not like I'm about to go kidnap her, (I'm not that desperate...yet.) but still. This isn't exactly normal.

Then again, neither is morphing into a giant ball of fur. Or looking at a girl for the first time in your life and never being able to leave her alone.

So I guess I'm just a big ball of furry weirdness.

I walked straight into Emily's house, like we all do, and heard the TV on, something sounding suspiciously like that stupid show about that stupid pregnant teenager that all girls like. _Secret Life Of the American Teenager, _I think it's called. **(Including me. I love the show, but, come on, you know it's got to end.)**

I walked into the living room and leaned against the wall, waiting for her to notice me. It didn't take very long, and when her gaze flickered to me, she didn't even look remotely surprised.

"I should have known you'd find me." She said in a bored tone.

I raised an eyebrow, even though she wasn't looking at me. "And why is that?"

Her face scrunched up a little, making her look completely adorable.

Holy crap. I think _that's_ adorable? What am I going to think when she gets angry?

And I'm never saying Holy crap again. Do you realize when you say that you're really saying Sacred poop? Because I just realized that.

And yes. I know I'm immature. I'm hoping Carly will find that endearing.

"Because you're a creeper. You're like...A hungry lion. You follow me and stalk me, waiting until I'm weak enough for you to eat. Except...I don't think you're waiting for me to get weak, and I _hope_ that you don't want to _eat_ me. So...I guess the only part of that analogy is the stalking part."

"Oh, I want to eat you. Just need to wait until I know you a little better."

She gave me one of those looks that only girls can give and muttered, "Pervert."

I grinned. "Aren't all teenage guys?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Not Jacob."

I snorted. "_Especially_ Jacob. Do you have any idea what he thinks about Renesmee? I mean, sure, he loves her, but they're teenagers. They like each other. Do the math. Because believe me, he's _way_ more perverted than I am. And Paul? He's even worse. Like, there was this one time when-"

She held up a hand and cut me off. "Spare me the details, okay? Fine. You win. Teenage boys are perverted. But how does that help your case?"

"I didn't know that I had a case."

Carly rolled her eyes. "If you have enough courage to stalk me, then you have a case. Besides, you know that if you kill me in the middle of the night with an ax, Jake will find you and sic some clowns on you."

I shuddered. "How'd you know about the clowns."

She shrugged, and I couldn't help but stare at her wavy hair as it shifted on her shoulders. (What the hell is wrong with me? I'm staring at a girls' hair. What has the world come to?) "People tell me things. But I don't think it's that bad. I have an irrational fear of butterflies."

I smirked. "Butterflies? Those little fluttery things that pollinate flowers? Oh, yeah, those things are _so scary_...They could fly down your throat and kill you or stab an eye out with their little wings."

She picked up a pillow and threw it at me, but I couldn't help but notice that she was smiling a little bit. "Don't mock me. I know lots of clowns. If you pay them enough, they'll do pretty much anything for you." This time she was the one smirking, and I could see an amused glint in her eye. "Like take one of the shoelaces off their huge shoes and use it to strangle someone, or take their nose and shove it down your throat, making you suffocate, or-"

"Okay, okay, I get it!" I groaned. "Fine, I won't mock you if you don't mock me. But no one ever told me you were so violent."

She smiled mischievously. "Yeah, well, it's easier to surprise people with your violence when they don't know about it."

"I'll bet" was all I said.

Oddly enough, when I sat down on the couch next to her, she didn't protest. She just moved over to give me a little more room, (even though we were still less than two inches apart. What can I say? It's a small couch.) and turned the TV up a little bit.

I saw that she'd changed the channel to a soccer game. "I didn't know you watched soccer."

She raised an eyebrow but didn't even glance at me. "Yeah, well, I bet you didn't know that I played it, either, but that's a good thing, considering I've barely ever talked to you."

I laughed. "You really are a paranoid freak aren't you?"

She gave me on of those looks again, and said, "Freak, huh? Well who's the one with some unnatural attachment to me?"

I froze for a second, thinking she might know about us, but then remembered that she just thought I was stalking her. "I have unnatural attachments to everyone. I'm just a nice guy that way." I shrugged.

She snorted. "Having unnatural attachments doesn't make you nice. It makes you co-dependent. You should get some help with that."

I sighed. "Yeah. I should. But it just feels so _right_. I _need_ these people." I said dramatically.

To my surprise, she actually laughed a little. "It's okay. Maybe we'll get you into some twelve-step program or something."

I raised an eyebrow again. "And what would those steps be?"

She considered for a moment. "Don't stalk people, don't whine when they leave...I guess it's more of a two-step program."

I nodded. "Yeah. No stalking, no whining. Got it."

"You know, somehow I don't think you're going to follow this program. I think 'no stalking' is too complicated for you."

I laughed. "Well...Only when there are pretty girls involved."

She blushed, and I thought, _Oh yeah_. (Is it weird that in my head, that voice came out like the Kool Aid guys' voice? Because it did.)

Operation Blue Unicorn has _so_ been put into effect.

**If you want another chapter, then review. If you don't, then you can still review. And hey, it was a little more serious than the last chapter. Better? Worse?  
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**~Zoey~**


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